Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
