I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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