first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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