She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
