the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I want a musical about memes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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