whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
