Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
