Having a random hookup so left but love u
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
