I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
