saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
