hotel room ftw
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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