you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
