This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize