I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
