he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
