If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
