how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
