the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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