my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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