John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it glows. i had to have it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
