I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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