Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i believe in u and ur pee
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
