DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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