i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
