From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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