im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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