Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
