Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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