We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
