Its about making memories worth repressing
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
