im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
