its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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