I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
