So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
