Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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