Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
