nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I want to be your penis for a week.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize