Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
