wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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