I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
