i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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