As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
