I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize