plz talk dirty to me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
