apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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