no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
