All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
