so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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