oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
