i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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