Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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