3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
