Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
