He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
