Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
