Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
