It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
