Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Houston, we have a squirter
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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