R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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