Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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