What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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