kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
