I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
