i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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