3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
