He asked me if I "almost moaned"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
