new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
The Olympian is in my bed
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
